2. Mackenzie: "I am blinded by the blackness of my hand."
3. Will: "Quick, lets corner him!"
Mackenzie: "The cat or the pizza guy?" (Pizza guy overhears)
4. Erik: "Can you use a heavy mace?"
Mackenzie: "I could, but I take major bonuses."
5. Mackenzie: "Seven plus four is eleven!"
Henry: "YEAH!"
6. *Kara falls* (note: this is a member of the party)
Henry: "Do we get attacks of opportunity?"
Erik: "Yes, if you want to."
*Henry rolls natural 20, attack goes through*
7. Mackenzie: "So, we win if we kill the DM."
8. Will: "What should we name him?" (referring to imaginary baby)
*Imitates magic skittles touch from that commercial, you know the one*
Will: "SKITTLES!"
9. Will: "If I go inert, you need to save me."
Mackenzie: "I could rub oils on you."
10. Erik: "It looks like an animated potato."
11. Mackenzie/Henry: "My good man...", "My good sir...","My good chum..." (over and over again)
12. Erik: "And for Kara..."
Will: "Princess Leia outfit!"
13. Erik: "It tastes like a burning cow caught on fire!"
14. Mackenzie: "I want to begin throwing the bodies off the roof while singing It's Raining Men."
15. Henry: "I haven't gone to the bathroom in four years!"
16. Henry: "What was just thrown at me?"
Will: "A ninja."
Henry: "Why can't I find it?"
Will/Mackenzie: "Because its a ninja!"
17. Henry: "Coffin hopping: A game to play in a cemetary!"
18. Mackenzie: "As Lucan falls he says: I just wanted to be a real boy."
19. Mackenzie: "Guess what! First black president!"
*sets down one dollar bill with black George Washington*
20. Mackenzie: "Does this boat have turrets on it?"
Henry: "Why would it have turrets?"
Mackenzie: "To fight off fish."
21. *Some lady kills an undead by healing*
Henry: She was all like heal (hiel)! *Nazi salutes*
22. Mackenzie: "We could cut off his head and carry it with us so we could be like: look, your leader is with us."
23. Mackenzie: "Under that two there was a three!"
24. Erik: "Intelligence just blew up in a column of flame."
Mackenzie: "But its cool because its on fire."
25. Jeremy: "But you can't make [swords] out of mind purple."
26. Jeremy: "Wait, damage gets added to damage, right?"
27. Will: "Where do they go the bathroom?"
*Mackenzie points at area covered by Players Handbook 2*
Henry: "Players Handbook?"
Erik: "Number two."
28. Henry: "Get that ninja off me. I'm tripping balls!"
29. Mackenzie: "And that is how I discovered I could see the future."
30. Mackenzie: "Henry's dad will kick in the door and it will fly off its hinges and smash through that big window. Then all the papers will be sucked out the window and Will and I and Henry will get sucked out into a giant vortex in the sky. And then Henry's dad will come in and shout: You're going to live! Live! Live, God dammit! And he'll beat Erik in the chest and he'll come back to life."
31. Ethan: "You can just build a new [homonculus]."
Will: "We could build a new you."
Mackenzie: "We could make him better, faster, stronger!"
Will: "Cue Darth Vader sequence."
32. Erik: "Jeremy, you're under attack!"
Jeremy: "It doesn't work!"
33. Jeremy: "Why do firey creatures get pluses t o charisma?"
Ethan: "Because they're hot."
34. Ethan: "Can my wolf rape? Like as a trick?"
Erik: "How would you even teach it that?"
Mackenzie: "Have you seen Dog PWNS kid?"
35. Henry: "New Super Mario Bros Wii has an awesome ending."
Mackenzie: "I'm sorry Mario, but our princess is in another game. Buy New Super Mario Bros 2!"
36. Mackenize: *puts bread on bolt* "Its OK. I'll shoot it in the mouth and it will be like: mmmm... bread. I will show you the way."
37. Will: "How does he look?"
Mackenzie: "Does he have a mouth big enough to handle the awesome taste of honey comb?"
38. Mackenzie: "I am sorry miss, but you are mistaken. We are but simple..."
Will: "Lizard folk!"
Mackenzie: "Yes, we are but simple lizard folk."
39. Erik: "Dude, some pretzels. Let's make a badger."
40. Mackenzie: "My mom has a meat smashing hammer for smashing meat."
Will: "I wouldn't want her to smash my meat."
41. Everyone (except Erik and Ethan): "Let the sun shine! Let the sun shine in. The sun shine in.
42. Will: "Do you have anything against glow sticks? No? You're hired."
43. Mackenzie: "No, Luke, You soy tu padre!"
"Noooooooooooo! Es impossible!"
44. Mackenzie (with ring of duct tape on head): "Aeeeurghaaah!"
Henry (with winner medal on head): "Ureuuurgheah!"
45. Jeremy: "OK, I want to build a hang-glider."
46. Erik: "It's nine o'clock in the morning."
Ethan (referring to Mackenzie): "And you're drunk?!"
47. Will (referring to his herring): "It will help in a diplomatic debate. I'll just whip it out and be like, herring! And he'll just be like, take my kingdom!"
48. Erik: "You look in the barrel and see a lot of rotten cod."
Henry: "I'm like, what the fuck? Where are the pirates?"
49. Henry (referring to Mackenzie): "I want to convince him that gravity works again."
(Henry rolls, Mackenzie saves)
Mackenzie: "LIES!"
50. Mackenzie: "Where were we last? I remember getting drunk in a pirate town, but..."
51. Mackenzie (referring to his packmate, Watson): "He's boxing. Buh-dun-tsh!"
Erik: "Wow, it took you several months to say that."
52. Erik: "Ok. You need to find a map."
Will: "Lets look in the backpack."
Will + Ethan (bursts into song): "Backpack! Backpack!"
53. Erik:"What are you doing with my book of the mormons?!"
Mackenzie: "I'm trying to catch a mormon! I just need to lure one out."
54. (Maximus loses in arm wrestling to drunken kobold. Maximus punches Kobold in rage. Zanfer tries to heal the kobold. Kara apologizes. Mackenzie walks to the guards.)
Mackenzie: "Wanna see a drunk lizard?"
55. Henry: "E-1"
Erik: "You sunk my battleship!"
(Thunder booms)
56. (while playing Risk) Mackenzie to Henry: "I'll trade you a potato chip for Madagascar."
57. Henry: "Wanna buy an onion ring? 500 gold."
Ethan: "485"
Henry: "Sold. Hey, Mackenzie, wanna buy an onion ring? 100 gold."
58. Erik (playing Mario Kart Double Dash): "Hit him! Hit Him!"
Henry (also playing): "We're not along side him!"
Erik: "Not in-game! Out of game!"
(Henry then commences beating Ethan, Player 3)
59. Mackenzie (referring to his america popsicle): "Mine tastes like a flag"
60. Ethan: "My stomach hurts."
Erik: "Do you want some tums... because they're 50 gold a piece."
61. (Playing so that we have to eat 1 candy heart, that taste like ass, per 2 damage)
Ethan: "This is worse than pain!"
Erik: "God, this hurts! This is so bad!"
62. Erik (Sniffing candy hearts) "I thinks that's what care-bear blood smells like."
63. Erik: "This hurts in weird places."
64. Mackenzie: "Fear the ghost of warrior pope!"
65. Mackenzie (referring to Toy Story 3 trailer): "Who's that adult in Andy's room? Gasp! Pedophile!"
66. Erik: "Now, may I ask you, good adventurers, what will you do now?"
Mackenzie: "We're going to Disney World!"
67. Mackenzie: "Its like Warrior Within but with less leather and fan service."
Erik: "Very good. DM awards you three mana for using a solid quote."
68. Will: "I could fight Helen Keller."
69. Henry: "I'm getting Jesus dust all over your guitar."
70. Erik: "Come on guys! There's always a bomb on the door!"
Mackenzie: "Its a good thing I'm on the roof."
71. Henry: "You're very noble."
Mackenzie: "Damn straight."
72. Henry: "You want to get your stomach ripped out again?"
Mackenzie: "You don't have the strength this time!"
73. Mackenzie: "This belt ain't big enough for the two of us."
*stretches out elastic belt*
Mackenzie: "Now it is."
74. Demitri: "Uh, guys, I think I'm about to die here."
Erik: "Oh ho ho! Famous last words!"
74. Mackenzie: "I thought Jesus was one of those kids where Abraham would be like: Come on Jesus, we're going to the zoo. And he'd be like: No, I wanna go to the aquarium!
75. Ethan: "I'm butt-mashing right now."
76. Mackenzie (rambling about a Wrinkle in Time): "Why was there a giant brain that liked ice cream, but only a certain flavor?"
77. Henry: "You're in some deep shit."
Mackenzie: "Nah, those are centipedes."
78. Will: "I can't fit in a bucket anymore."
Mackenzie: "Dude, that sucks."
The Eberron Quests were a great time filled with much breaking of the fourth wall, distractions of the DM, and random spews of often un-sensible references. May their glory live on.