Monday, February 14, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Scary Perfect Comparison
Only about 500 people out of the world's 6,928,198,253 will get this one but through 3 degrees of separation it has to do with table-top gaming.
A Mackenzie Fox Original
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Some Picture I made.
I made these pictures awhile back for another blog, but figured I'd put them here. These are completely unrelated to Table-Top Gaming activities discussed on this blog.
The Man With An Especially Nice Suit By Mackenzie Fox
As the thick clouds of fog rise from the sewer grates into the cold night, contributing to the ominous atmosphere being established, the 19th century London-esque road, which was not, in fact, constructed in the 19th century but at a later time to create a dated feel for the neighborhood in which the story takes place, was considerably empty due to the rain showers that had ended prior to the beginning. The protagonist donned a long dress coat, black, undoubtedly to serve as an addition to the foundation of the story's darker tones. He stops, coughs. The sound echoes down the street, emphasizing just how alone he is. His walk continues. The noise from each step is overly dramatized, yet he takes no notice. He stops again, for he has heard something. Listening closely in the stillness, the sound of a far-off dog can be heard. The man's face grows pale as he returns to walking at a quickened pace. Another bark is heard. The man breaks into a sprint as horrific images, based upon his fear of dogs that will be explained over the course of the story through well placed flashbacks to his traumatic childhood, fill his head. Reaching his apartment building, he hurdles up the three steps leading to the doorway and tears his overfilled keyring from his coat pocket. Rushing, he fumbles with the keys, developing a slightly suspenseful mood. As he jams the proper key into the look and quickly turns it. The lock clicks open, the sound of it louder than normally possible, and the door is hastily swung ajar, leaving just enough room necessary for the man to duck inside and seal the entrance way behind him, re-locking it in the process. Leaning back against the door, he takes a deep breath and composes himself. He stands up straight with excellent posture, removes his coat, and places it upon the hangar that stands beside the doorway. He is wearing an especially nice suit.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
What the Metroid games should have been about
This is what happens when the DM leaves Henry and Mackenzie unattended.
How to play D&D
Erik's been making this list for the last year, and now here it is!
1. Listen to the DM, because someday the tables will turn and I’m going to try and grapple everything that moves, and some things that don’t.
2. Cantrips and orions are 99.9% of the time worthless
3. You can never have to many healers
4. There’s always a secret door
5. Is it trapped? Yes.
6. When casting insta-death spells the monster will always save.
7. You’ll always break even, no more, no less.
8. Never read the incantation aloud.
9. Yes, the statue is alive, and so are the bodies, and so is the furniture, and for that matter so is everything else and it all wants to brutally maul you to death.
10. Size matters not.
11. Everything and everybody will betray you even if you don’t realize it.
12. 10 to 1 it’s a shapeshifter and you’ll never know it or ever will.
13. It always has one more health than you want it to have
14. An NPC can always be brought back from the dead if it appeases the plot.
15. You can always bribe em’, you just haven’t offered enough.
16. Every time you interrupt the DM’s description, not only will he start over but the next monster you fight just gained 10 more HP, go look it up, its in the rules, somewhere…
17. Just because it’s covered in crap doesn’t mean that it’s magical, and vise versa.
18. Asking nicely always counts for something, normally a cudgel to the face.
19. Your character sheet is never done, just accept it.
20. Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others, and same goes for 3.5 as far as role-playing is concerned.
21. Hallways full of spider webs will always mean you will soon be ambushed by a ridiculous amount of giant spiders, that or the DM’s just messing with you…
22. Never partake in entangling alliances unless you want to get discounts on items, crazy awesome special abilities, and hoards of minions to follow your every whim.
23. Always skip the third stair.
24. The backstory is always three times as long as the one the players get
25. Depth of character will get you everywhere
26. Any more than one NPC controlled by each player makes initiative no fun
27. Breaking th fourth wall is fun if the writing is dumb.
28. The Heal check to examine Guntar is DC 20
29. When you sign up to be DM your abilty to draw circles on a map goes down the tubes
30. Never mess with the box with arms
31. Never underestimate the sheer stupidity of Kobolds
32. Call it "table-top gaming" it alienates your friends and families less
Math Section
32. XP gained =XP needed to level up – 50.
33. XP gained per monster fought = amount told on chart for monster’s Challenge Rating – the number of annoying out-of game questions you’ve asked.
34. Expected time + 1 hour + stupid babbling = time it takes to solve an obvious puzzle
35. Size of map/ time spent creating map is in an inverse relation to the time spent playing on them
36. Insurmountable odds + a hand full of unconscious party members + surviving all on your own = Priceless
1. Listen to the DM, because someday the tables will turn and I’m going to try and grapple everything that moves, and some things that don’t.
2. Cantrips and orions are 99.9% of the time worthless
3. You can never have to many healers
4. There’s always a secret door
5. Is it trapped? Yes.
6. When casting insta-death spells the monster will always save.
7. You’ll always break even, no more, no less.
8. Never read the incantation aloud.
9. Yes, the statue is alive, and so are the bodies, and so is the furniture, and for that matter so is everything else and it all wants to brutally maul you to death.
10. Size matters not.
11. Everything and everybody will betray you even if you don’t realize it.
12. 10 to 1 it’s a shapeshifter and you’ll never know it or ever will.
13. It always has one more health than you want it to have
14. An NPC can always be brought back from the dead if it appeases the plot.
15. You can always bribe em’, you just haven’t offered enough.
16. Every time you interrupt the DM’s description, not only will he start over but the next monster you fight just gained 10 more HP, go look it up, its in the rules, somewhere…
17. Just because it’s covered in crap doesn’t mean that it’s magical, and vise versa.
18. Asking nicely always counts for something, normally a cudgel to the face.
19. Your character sheet is never done, just accept it.
20. Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others, and same goes for 3.5 as far as role-playing is concerned.
21. Hallways full of spider webs will always mean you will soon be ambushed by a ridiculous amount of giant spiders, that or the DM’s just messing with you…
22. Never partake in entangling alliances unless you want to get discounts on items, crazy awesome special abilities, and hoards of minions to follow your every whim.
23. Always skip the third stair.
24. The backstory is always three times as long as the one the players get
25. Depth of character will get you everywhere
26. Any more than one NPC controlled by each player makes initiative no fun
27. Breaking th fourth wall is fun if the writing is dumb.
28. The Heal check to examine Guntar is DC 20
29. When you sign up to be DM your abilty to draw circles on a map goes down the tubes
30. Never mess with the box with arms
31. Never underestimate the sheer stupidity of Kobolds
32. Call it "table-top gaming" it alienates your friends and families less
Math Section
32. XP gained =XP needed to level up – 50.
33. XP gained per monster fought = amount told on chart for monster’s Challenge Rating – the number of annoying out-of game questions you’ve asked.
34. Expected time + 1 hour + stupid babbling = time it takes to solve an obvious puzzle
35. Size of map/ time spent creating map is in an inverse relation to the time spent playing on them
36. Insurmountable odds + a hand full of unconscious party members + surviving all on your own = Priceless
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