Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Security Seal

An explanation:

On the Writing PSSA's, there are stickers used to cover the prompts in order to keep us from getting a head start. The stickers read as follows:

Security Seal
Do NOT remove this seal until directed.

Hence this drawing. I give you... The Security Seal.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Nute Gunray Soulja Boy

This is a video I made awhile back, so I figured I should put a link here.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Continuing Adventures of: Bjorn and Company!

Journal Entry 6

As I go to write this entry, I have realized something horrible.  Journal entries four and five have gotten covered in sludge!  Damn that sewer beast…  I will do my best to summarize what has happened recently, though my memory is a little fuzzy.  We went to see the queen, our kobold flirted with her guard, and the guard hit the kobold a lot, as well as kicked Kurtis in the gentlemen’s region.  The queen rewarded us for doing… something, we got some gold, met an extremely drunk man named Grau, turned out he was a guard, we brought him back to his station, got rewarded and than we were asked to assist in something.  Due to the recent chaos in the city, we were asked to work as vigilantes of the guard, stop a former guard by the name of Verik Vancaskerkin, who was speaking against the queen, and all this at a nice place called “All the World’s Meat”.  Well, we enter the shop, question the owners, Maldur and Boldrago, about Verik, get nowhere, they threaten us, we fight, Bjorn and Company prevails.  We fight some meat packers, Prime almost gets killed by a pig, but luckily, I was able to jump into the pen and toss him out to be healed by Alkippy.  We go upstairs and find Verik, attempt to negotiate, but that doesn’t go so well, he attacks us, and, after a very tough battle, a solid half of which I was unconscious for, we knock him unconscious, and take him back to Cressida Kroft.  We Collect our reward, find out that the meat was people, but, after a vote from the party, decide not to tell the people, and are off.  She than comes and tells us about another thing that we must do.

There is a man, who, for the life of me, I cannot remember the name of, from Cheliax, who has been meddling in affairs around here.  We are told to find the spider king, and soon do.  After paying a large sum of money (500 gold!), and me winning a rather interesting and violent game called “Knivesies”, in which only one of my four other party members bet on me, he gave us letters that would incriminate this man.  We bring them to Cressida.  She tells us to go faff about for a couple of days, which we do post haste!  Soon, we are called back, and told that a young lady has been found who is rumored to have assassinated the king!  We run off quickly to find her and save her from the mobs so we might interrogate her.  On our way to where she lives, in the slums, a massive sewer beast, with three eyes, three tentacles, and three legs, bursts out of the ground before us.  I sprint at it, and am immediately knocked unconscious.  Luckily, I am quickly revived by Alkippy and Irtimid, our half-elf sorcerer.  I stand up, as a few spells are cast at the beast by Irtimid and the kobold, as his snake rushes up to the abomination.  I swing at the creature, and with a massive hit, open a large wound in it’s’ stomach.  Almost directly after this, Kurtis, with strength I did not know he had, smashes the creature in its middle eye, killing it.  Then things got weird.

As the creature fell, it gave us a beautiful lament about its life thus far, and as deeply moved by this story as I was, I ran a few feet away from it.  I came back, and found people talking about the good life that this sewer-thing had lived, and, after the creature had apparently bequeathed all it owned to us as it lay dieing, the villagers brought its items from the sewer and we sold what of it we didn’t want to keep.  I started crying tears of confusion, which apparently brought the beast back to life, and, uh… it kind of skipped down the rest of the street, and left into the sunset… yeah…  I got a very nice sword-cane out of it all, and, though I don’t think I will ever use it, it is a very nice item to have, just in case.  After spending what felt like an eternity walking through the streets and being given false directions to this woman’s house, we find out way there through dumb luck.  I kick down the door, and see the woman sleeping in her bed.  Odd as it was, I wake up and try to touch her, to see that she is made of naught but light.  We are now in hot pursuit of her over the roof tops.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Mackenzie Fox: The Autobiography

A "nobody" writing an autobiography? Who the hell does he think he is? Yeah, I know what you are thinking. It is the story of my life.

Part 1: A Really Shady Guy Tries to Sell Me Drugs

I was born in Philadelphia and I still live close by outside the city. On occasion, I take mostly uneventful trips into the city. It was New Years Eve of 2010, and I took the train into the city with some friends of mine. We were taking a stroll down South Street, a street lined with stores, as we carried on a conversation. Now, I don't smoke marijuana, though many people do not believe me due to my usually scruffy, care-free image. As I talked with my friends, I remarked how I could theoretically fit in with a group of pot-heads just because of how I look and my normally relaxed state of mind. Suddenly, a man steps out in front of me, my friends take no notice and keep walking. Here I am, starring face to face with a shady-looking, even scruffier man who reacks of weed. "Hey," he says casually. I knew what was coming next. "You smoke?" I reacted naturally, wanting to escape. "No," I answered. Thinking it was over, I stepped to the side, wanting to move around the man. He, however, wasn't done yet. Intensely starring at me, the man questions, "Why not?" Now, I really wanted out without the man thinking that I'm judging him. Saying the first thing I think of, I lie. "Look, I don't have any money." I did. The man may have known this, as he made his final attempt. Reaching inside his shady long coat, he draws out and handful of what appeared to be marijuana tablets. Now, I'm no expert, but I was pretty sure some thing like that didn't exist. Presenting the tablets before me, sitting with no wrappings or anything in his bare hand, the man gives me a really shady grin. I've had enough and finally dash around the man and move down the street. The man quickly shoved his "merchandise" back into the inside pocket of his jacket, and, thankfully, gave up without chasing after me. This wasn't the first time someone tried to sell me marijuana, but it definitely stands out as the shadiest.

Part 2: An Old Lady at a Retirement Home Thinks I'm Someone Else

This story begins as I arrived at my Great Grandmother's funeral at a not-so-far-away funeral home. My family and I entered into the church section of the building. My brother and I were standing in the back of the room. As we began to walk to where my father was, I hear a raspy smoker-esque voice call from behind us, "Boys. Boys! Stop! Stop! Stop!" I turn around to find I an elderly lady sitting in a wheel chair. Having got our attention, she began to point toward her face, slightly rocking back and fourth, repeating, "Remember me? Remember me? Remember me?" Unsure of how to address this situation, I acted on my first impulse and responded, "Uh, no." She stopped and starred at my brother and I with a confused expression upon her face. With an inquiring finger wag, she questioned, "Are you from West Chester?" Again, "No," I responded. Squinting at us, she continued the interrogation, "Where are you from?" "Wallingford," I responded. "Ohhhhhh," she said, followed by a long pause. She looked around, and, turning back to my brother and I, concluded, "I thought you were from West Chester."

Part 3: I Eat Lunch with a Squirrel

In the summer of 2010, I took a 3D character modeling course at Swarthmore College through the Digital Media Academy. It was an alright course, assuming one has an interest in the subject matter. The gave out some pretty cool t-shirts, too. Anyway, it was my third day taking the class, and we had just been sent free for the hour-long lunch break. I took my time heading to the lunch hall, so I fell well behind everyone else. When I finally made my way there, I found that the lunch area had apparently been move somewhere else. So, I wander around the campus aimlessly, eating my sandwich, which was really good, as I went. Now, this is where the story enters its climax, a literary term use to define the really exciting scene in an action movie that people like to talk about whilst disregarding the rest of the movie. As I followed a pathway something caught my eye, which I assume you are clever enough to dissect from the title. Anyway, there was this squirrel chewing on a sign post, which belonged to one of those really tiny signs used to label plants. Considering that I was alone and had an hour to kill, I sat down near the squirrel, which had noticed me and mostly stopped chewing on the signpost, only offering the occasional brief gnaw. I tore a chunk of bread from my sandwich and tossed it general vicinity of the wee-beast. Now, it is to my own personal belief that it was the generally shared opinion that bread tastes better than sign posts that cause to squirrel to abandon its previously chosen meal for the newly available option. While most people rational people would leave the creature to its business and proceed with their own, I happen to have a history of feeding squirrels with strategically placed peanut-butter sandwiches, thus causing me to have a slight affection for the creatures. I must have sat their for a good thirty minutes feeding bread to that squirrel. I even almost got it to eat from my hand, but I had to return to class and abandon my bread-devouring rodent friend.

Part 4: Truck Not Monkey

coming soon...

Chapters to Expect in the future: "I Climb a Library", "The Re-Telling of One Man's Musical Epiphany", and many other fascinating tales.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

MAC Cannon


Wow, cell phones are getting awesome quality...

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Epic of Bjorn and Company (new name coming soon)

Journal Entry One

            It appears that I was horribly injured.  I do not remember much from the past couple of days, only that my last conscious action is that I ran into a building to attempt to rescue some of its’ residents from a fire.  I think a support strut fell on me.  I no longer feel as I once did.  I am weaker, less dexterous, and less hardy than I was but four days prior.  Sitting in this sick bed is starting to drive me up the wall, but no matter.  I recently received mail from some unknown man, telling me where I can get my vengeance for a prior event.  Ah, how foolish of me!  I haven’t told you, whomever has gotten a hold of this journal, anything about me!

            I am Bjorn Jortunbründ, recently discharged soldier.  I would rather not speak about why I was discharged, but I think it will suffice to say that there were some… less than acceptable acts done on my behalf.  Good god, it seems like everything has just gone wrong recently… Well, now that I think about it, I believe that you should know why I was discharged.  Two weeks ago, a young lad by the name of Thomp Thompson, was taken, and I believe I know by who.  That damned Gaedren.  Well, I searched restlessly for a week or so, asking many people if they knew the whereabouts of a child, I would say, “Have you seen a child, no older than ten years of age, with long, dark brown hair recently?  He also has green eyes, brighter than the most expensive of emeralds.  You would know who he is by seeing him.”  Well, one man did say that he “might know where he is, with a bit of ‘persuasion’.”  I gave him my last eight gold pieces, and he tried to run off.  Enraged, I threw my Elven Curve Blade at him, and killed him on the spot with it.  I retrieved the gold and blade, and than found my superior and told him of the event.  He was angrier than I expected, and I was discharged.

            Two days later, I see a burning building, and rush in to try and get anyone inside to safety.  I got out an elderly woman and what appeared to be her two grandchildren, and heard another scream from inside.  I rushed in again just in time to see a young woman, no older than 18 years of age, jump from the second story of this building.  I ran to try and get out of the building, but it appears that I was too late.  Something heavy fell on top of my, and I could not remove it.  Miraculously, I have survived to tell the tale, but my muscles do not appear as strong as they were, nor does my body feel as hardy.  For the past couple of days, I have been within this hospital resting and having my burns treated.  Thank god they still think I’m in the city guard here, or else I would have a pretty hefty bill to pay at the end of my stay here. 

            I plan to leave this city when I find Thomp.  I want there to be great stories written about me.  That’s why I originally joined the city guard, but it quickly became apparent that there wasn’t really going to be any opportunity for fame, so I was bored.  I constantly dreampt of going out and adventuring with a group of likeminded fellows, but have never got the chance.  But I believe that this hunt for Gaedren may open some doors to me that were previously closed.  But I must not forget the main purpose for me going on this mission; I must find Thomp and bring him back to his home safely.


Journal Entry Two

            Earlier today, I woke up in the hospital and was told that I was being released.  I was thrilled to be out of this place, I never have really liked being under the care of someone else.  Whilst I was taking off my bandages, I found something odd.  There was a card in them, saying “I know what Gaedren has done to you.  He has wronged me as well.  I know where he dwells, yet cannot strike at him.  Come to my home at
3 Lancet Street
at sunset.  Others like you will be there.  Gaedren must face his fate, and justice must be done.”  Rather odd to find this message, but I decided that I should go, if only to have something to do.  I arrived there a little early, and discovered a note on the table.  It read, “Thank you for coming.  I had to step out for a bit, but shall return shortly.  Please, have a seat while you wait.  The basket under the table contains bread and drink for you.”  Well, I ate some bread, and accidentally ended up drinking all the wine.  Ah well, things happen.

            About fifteen minutes later, the others arrive.  There is a kobold, that I cannot remember the name of at this moment, followed by some horrid looking serpent beast.  All he mentioned about his past was that Gaedren had kept him in a cage for the beginning of his life.  Maybe his serpent is an imaginary friend come real through some sorcery?  I shall further ponder on this.  There was a gnome, who called herself Ackippy, or something along those lines.  He was one of those forest people, and was followed by a bear by the name of “Sergeant Grumbles”.  I quite like the bear actually.  She told me that she has lost a child to Gaedren, and would like him back.  Poor woman.  Next came a half-elf mage, who has said nothing since the beginning of this whole thing.  Odd, I must get him to speak and learn more about him.  Last, comes Curtis Kassic Prime.  Quite a nice man, though a little barbaric for my choice of company.  He told me a touching story, about how he has had an awful childhood, and was forced to work for Gaedren, and was beaten near death when failing at stealing.  He than apprenticed under an armor smith for a while, and, later, got in many fights.  He went to jail, built an orphanage, which later burnt down, and generally had a life I don’t really comprehend.

            Enter Zellara, the young woman who asked us here.  She does some odd voodoo magic tricks; I don’t really pay much attention to them.  Something about inner turmoil and we all have a personality change in the past.  Big whoop, I could have told you that without a deck of cards.  She tells us that she lost her son to Gaedren, and tells us we should go slay him.  We all gladly accept, and set off.  We reach the docks, and sneak into his warehouse through a side door.  No one is in this first room, and, whilst exploring it, Curtis opens a door, and there are three children in there, and a pirate.  He orders the children to attack, and they follow his orders, though I do wish they hadn’t.  The pirate deftly dodges several attacks, and I run in and slice him in twine.  The children all sprint off, except for the one that the bear grappled.  After some convincing, we convince Ackippy to have Sergeant Grumbles release the child.  We loot the room, due to a need for equipment and whatnot.  We find some silver and copper, take the items that were on the pirate, and I come up with the idea to put it all in a closet that’s in this room, and lock it with a key from the pirate.  We than move on to the next room.

            This room contains a mangy looking dog, which I quickly sprint at and kill with a single stroke of my mighty sword.  I thought fighting was supposed to be a challenge?  Nothing of interest in this room, and we move onto the next one, which, whilst containing four chests and two beds, contains nothing of interest.  Curtis and I move on to the hallway near by, whilst the smaller folk enter a room that neither of us think we can get into, due to a jammed door.  There is a crazy looking man in there, who, according to the kobold, threw vials of acid at him.  I quickly kick down the door on the other side of the room, and we all charge in and attack the man.  I do not land a single blow on him, be we over whelm him with our numbers, and soon he is dead.  We stow his equipment in the closet that we put all the other stuff in earlier, and continue on.

            Now, this is where things start to get a little sticky.  We enter what appears to be a production room of some sort, containing many children, and one large half-orc.  Well, this is an odd man.  He starts giggling and telling the children to attack us.  I quickly charge at him, but miss my attack horribly.  Cue the children mob.  They seem to just mob around me, the serpent, and the unconscious Prime, who had earlier attempted the same maneuver I had tried on the man that I shall refer to as Giggles.  He runs around whilst we all try to fend off children, who are attacking us with pitchforks and daggers.  I attempt to hit them with the flat of my blade, but I feel so poorly about it, I seem to miss every time.  The serpent kills one, but I can’t place blame on it, it is an animal.  I think.  Well, my other party members attack Giggles, and, upon his death, the children stand down.  You think they would take this opportunity to overthrow this man but, whatever.  I collect up their weapons, as well as the items from Giggles, and stow them in the closet.  We stabilize Curtis, and continue on. 

We go outside the building, and cross a dock.  Curtis, the Serpent and I all get to the boat that I believe houses Gaedren, whilst the kobold escorts the children back to Zellara’s house.  Well, Sergeant Grumbles and his master, Ackippy, make it about halfway to the boat, with the half-elf following a little behind, when suddenly, the dock under the half-elf collapses, and a shark comes swimming up.  “Ggrreeaatt…” I think to myself.  The shark takes a nice chunk out of the magic-man, and well all start running to the rescue.  I throw a dart at the creature, and hit it in the gills, and it starts to bleed profusely.  The snake also attacks the shark, and appears to wound it fairly well too.  The half-elf swims a little ways away, but the shark follows.  The serpent slithers across the wall above the dock, and sticks its’ tail in the water for the mage to grab.  He grabs the tails, but is bitten again by the shark, and is now unconscious or dead from the looks of it.  I see one last opportunity to save him, and, from a stand still, make an absolutely massive fifteen-foot leap across the gap, land, and throw a dart at the shark, killing it.  I’m not ashamed to say that I felt absolutely amazing doing this.  Well, the serpent grabs the mage, I stabilize him, and we head back to the boat.

I kick down the door to get into the lower part of the boat, and see cobwebs all over the inside.  “Eugh… spiders” I think to myself.  I do hate those things.  Well, a cat sized one comes crawling around the corner.  I swing at it several times, and fail to hit it.  It bites me successfully twice.  Ah well, just a light nip at the toes, really.  Our druidic friend uses some sort of magic that creates acid above the creatures head, and it dies.  This is where we are right now, and I have taken but a few minutes to write in my journal so that I might not forget the events of today.


Journal Entry Three

            Well, what an eventful and tragic day this has been.  Wait, it hasn’t even been a day!  Merely several hours now that I think about it… wow, quite a lot has happened in this short period of time.  We entered the ship, and went down into the hull, where there appeared to be a slow leak, but that was no matter, we managed to fend off the small spiders that dwelled in this part of the ship.  Simple.  Next, we walked below the fishery, and reached a door.  The kobold, Firk, and his snake went through first.  This room was of quite an odd design.  It was what I would approximate to be thirty feet wide by sixty or seventy feet long, and contained a long desk, with a horrible man sitting at it.  This man was balding, with a big of white hair left on his head, and had a hunched back.  He mocked us, obviously knowing of our past run-ins with him.  Well, soon after he finished his taunting, while we all stood in shocked silence, I charged him through this foul smelling room.  My first attack missed horribly, and he laughed at my feeble attempt to harm him.  His pet alligator, short before this, had attempted to climb up onto the floor, there being a pool of water about ten by twenty feet by who knows how deep in the room, but had failed miserably.  The kobold, and his snake, attacked the alligator.  The kobold missed, plunging his spear into the water, but the snake struck true, dealing some damage to the beast.  I couldn’t tell if Kurtis was doing anything or not, I think he may have been protecting the half-elf for the first part of this battle.

Well, my second attack on this horrid man struck true, and, with a strength I feel very rarely, I cut him clean open, and he died very soon after I struck him.  We all turned our attention to the alligator, and soon, we had damaged it enough that it tried to escape.  In my blind anger at Gaedren and this beast, Gobblegut, as it was named, I dove in after it, and hacked through its’ hide, killing it.  I had a bit of trouble swimming back up, what with my armor and all, but soon got up.  We promptly went about looting the room, and found the head of Zellara, who, through a Harrow Deck that her spirit possessed, she explained that she had actually been dead for weeks, and, contacted us through some magic, and gave us this quest that we have gone on.  I then, disturbingly, discovered Thomp Thompson, the young man that I had been searching for, dead, hanging by his toes from the ceiling, missing his arms.  Gaedren was truly a sick, sick man to do something like this.  I got him down from the ceiling, and wrapped the body in some old clothes that we found in a room near the one we were in, and, for reasons unknown to me, the Firk decided to tunnel through the floor, and we climbed through to the surface.

We went to the cabinet to retrieve some of the stuff I had previously stored in there, but, alas, it had been broken into and the items within had been stolen.  We walk outside to find that the city is in a state of panic; the king has died, looters are everywhere, and the marines and hell knights are doing their best to control the city.  I put down Thomp deciding that, though my emotion attachment with him being very strong, having known him for five or six years now, there are bigger matters at hand.  We sped off towards the market, needing to heal up our half-elf friend, and come to a group of houses, in a horseshoe shape, with six men with various improvised weapons attacking what appears to be a nobleman.  I yell for them to stop, and do my best to talk them down, but that goes… less than great.  I, in my nervousness, accidentally insulted their mothers’, and they became hostile towards me.  I quickly applied some new-found oil that made my weapon more dangerous than ever, and prepared for the ensuing fight.  It was mostly uneventful.  No damage was dealt to me or any of my group-mates, though Kurtis did attempt to bribe the assaulters into attacking the nobleman, apparently to keep them from harming me.  I guess it worked?  I don’t think it was a great plan, but, hey, who am I to complain?  I survived, the nobleman survived (though with a numerous amount of wounds), we got paid by the nobleman, and we continued on our way to the market.  Lucky for us, the market was being safely guarded, so we handed over our weapons, and went about our shopping.  We got some healing for our friend, we sold many of the items that we found, I bought some potions and healing of my own, and the others are still doing their shopping whilst I am writing this.

            I feel that, while I am writing, I should explain who I got this odd weapon that I use now.  It all goes back to my childhood, when I was learning to fight from mom and dad, both former adventurers.  Mom was a dexterous woman, and loved to use daggers, rapiers, and whatever others weapons that let her use her nimbleness to great extent.  Dad was a little more… forceful about the whole thing, and loved to use great swords, bastard swords, etc.  Of course, both of them wanted me to use the type of weapon that they used, and so I was trained in both types of fighting.  I could use either a dagger, or a great sword, to great affect.  My training was superb, but, soon after I joined the city guard, my parents were called off to an adventure of great importance, and I have not seen them since.  I have confidence that they are still alive; they were no weak individuals, even at their slightly older age.  Well, one lazy night, me and a couple of the guards were sitting around, our shifts having just ended, and I look over at the elf.  Now, normally I avoid associating with these weak types, but I was interested in something.  He normally uses a bow, as one would expect, but I noticed a sword on his back.  A two-handed sword, at that.  I thought to myself, “why would he have that, he’s not very strong, right?”  So, I ask him why he has the sword.  He informs me that it’s called an “Elvin Curve Blade”, and that, unlike any other two-handed weapon of its kind, can be used much more precisely than, say, a great sword.  Well, I try it out, and quickly fall in love with the weapon.  I buy one of my own, and now it’s the only sword I am willing to use.  Beautiful weapon it is.  Ah, wouldn’t mom and dad be proud, having finally found a weapon that applies to both of their combat styles?

Another 3D model

Just an idea I fooled around with.


Monday, February 21, 2011

Faces of Korvosa






The following JPG represents the journey of a bunch of adventures through the Curse of the Crimson Throne. It is my duty as GM to provide the PCs with an immersive environment but with so much time in between sessions and over 15 important NPCs in this sixth of the adventure alone I figured I'd provide this service just in case. This makes my life easier as this is a NPC driven adventure and so long as y'all know at least their stories I can run the best adventure possible. This is probably a pointless gesture but I am morally required to make sure you at least know this much.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Apparently I need to hide the napkins now...

Walrus like internet. If you want to make walrus happy perhaps you support the internet. How bout you post some things on this blog? That be cool. So long as you part of the people who actually read this blog or you a Russkie and you wish to pledge your inner walrus to Captain America you send comment and we set you up the postin' stuffs. So long as you make it, its a bit comical (unless you have an especially nice suit), and has no relevance to another field of study (physics class) go fo' it. We make blog big and happy and you make walrus happy.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Mackenzie Fox's Bad Jokes and Pickup Lines for Super Specific Scenarios

Q: What do you call the leader of a citrus army?
A: A commanderin' orange.

Q: Why did the Care-Bear need a respirator?
A: He was too Care-asthmatic.

Pickup Line (Math Competition): So, for one reason or another your hanging 'round at a battle of the mathematically elite when, suddenly, someone peeks your interest and the next thing you know, you're standing in front of this person starting a conversation. However, you soon find out that you need to go, but you wanna leave in style. So, you turn to this person, look 'em in the eyes and say, "Hey, I gotta go, but I'll calc-you-later." Then walk off. Great success.

Horrible Pickup Line (Abandoned Road): The sun has just set as you walk down the abandoned, dirt road after a long day of old school lumber-jacking. Your ax is slung over your shoulder, clearly visible. You see that someone's car has broken down. Being the good citizen that you are, you approach the car to see if you can help. You tap on the window. There is a pause and then it rolls down. As you see the person inside, your interest is immediately peeked. At this moment, simply say, "Wow. You're so good looking that if I was a psychotic ax-murderer, I would save you for last." Then laugh loudly and deeply to show that you're both a friendly and jolly lumberjack. Not usually successful, likelihood of being attacked and/or arrested significantly increased.